Inception: A Movie Review.

On Wednesday I saw "Inception." I have been really quiet about this fact, because frankly, I didn't want to talk about it. Did I think it was a bad movie? Not in the slightest. Did it frustrate me? Yes, yes it did. I am going to break this review into two segments. The first segment will deal with the movie itself and will have little to no spoiling. The second part will be a review of concept and will likely be spoiler heavy. I will indicate when we reach segment two. So with that said, lets begin.

As with most of Nolan's movies, it's very pretty. It will have a familiar visual tone and vocabulary if you are a fan of his previous work. When it comes to visuals, Nolan is one of my 10 favorite directors. If asked to describe his style in one word, I would have to go with "muted." In a world of Michael Bays and McGs, Nolan has a way of restraining himself when it comes to colors. Every scene seems to have a color palate, and none of them include neon pink.

The story of the movie is inspired. Unlike Avatar from last year, I don't think anyone will be able to accuse this movie of being light on story and plot. If anything, it might try to do too much. The movie at times almost felt overly complicated. Don't mistake that for being "hard to follow." I followed the movie just fine, but it just felt like the movie was trying to do too much at times. There are two completely separate missions for the main character, each almost felt like they could have been their own movie. Leaving a third movie to be made just for the main character's more personal conflicts that appear by the end of the movie. I appreciate Nolan's apparent attempt to avoid a franchise, but sometimes too much story is just too much story. It also left me wanting more character development and interactions, which felt neglected at times in favor of moving the behemoth of a plot forward. With the movie reaching just over the two hour mark, I wish Nolan would have nutted up and either made it a franchise or an honest three hour movie.

The acting is stellar. DiCaprio is powerful, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is likable despite not enough character development and Ellen Page is just a joy to watch. Even Cillian Murphy (Scarecrow from Nolan's Batman series) appears and does a great job. The only actor I really didn't connect with was Marion Cotillard. For some reason, I just didn't feel her in this movie. Any time she was on the screen, it felt like the energy was sucked from the scene. She wasn't bad. It might have just been everyone else was just so good.

This movie also hosts what I think might be one of the best fight scenes ever in a movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a fight where gravity is shifting. You may have seen bits of it in the trailer. Believe, it's as cool as the trailer makes it look. I personally think it's better than most, if not all, the fights shown in the Matrix movies.

At the end of the day, Inception is a well made movie and is entertaining at the very least.

Rating
4 out of 5

Segment 2

Inception is a high concept movie. Much like the work of Philip K. Dick, this movie at it's core is a study of human perception. Is the world what we make it? Is the world what it really seems? What makes our dreams any less real than the waking world around us? These are questions that are not new. People have been asking them, and similar questions, since man has first begun asking questions. So does Inception add anything to this dialog? Not in the slightest. The movie is almost all riddle and no solution.

With the movie's ambigious ending, I found myself trying to follow the movie's own rules and come to a conclusion. The problem being that the rules would only apply in the movie's "real world" setting and are void in movie making. Did Cobb and Miles just "appear" at the house or did the film maker just cut from the airport to the house to save time? Are the children appear to be the same age because they were constructs of his memory or is it just because the scenes were all shot in a single day? I don't mind that the story is left open, I mind that the details are so vague that it's hard to even draw your own solution.

While discussing this movie, I actually said "I'm done talking about it. They filmed it so the problem is unsolvable, so there's no point in trying to solve it." The basic principles of film making break the rules of this established world, so there is no weight to the rules. Unless a character verbally points out "I don't remember how we physically got here," there is no way to tell when the rules are being broken as a viewer. For me, that's very frustrating. I listened carefully to the dialog, noticing repeated phrases and themes such as "leap of faith." But by the end of the movie, I felt there was no reward for being attentive. All the things you notice might just be the short comings of the movie or the medium of movies themselves.

In the end I felt like I was being taunted for being a dedicated and observant viewer. I don't mind an open ending, but when you even leave the clues open... I draw the line.

Ryan, I think we have a topic...

The Last Airbender: The Largest Conspiracy Since the Moon Landing

About two weeks ago I made a post on my personal website about how I didn't think "The Last Airbender" could possibly be as bad as the critics were saying. I compiled a list of movies with better ratings on Rotten Tomatoes' freshness meter. A list of movies that critics were more likely to agree are better than M. Night Shyamalan's latest flick. I said that it is hard for me to comprehend that a movie could be worse than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," which happens to be my absolute zero when it comes to movies. It is impossible for movies to go any lower and everything is freezes by the time it gets there. Transformers 2 is flawed on so many fundamental levels, I find it unwatchable. I talk about it a lot, but it's one of the few times I am not exaggerating or joking around. I really loath that movie.

But this isn't a write up for Transformers, it's a write up for The Last Airbender. Like I explained, I didn't think there was any way this movie could be as bad as people said. I saw the movie today and I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong... but this is not one of those times. Was Airbender a great movie? No. Was it a wretched demon of a film that will eat your soul and then defecate in your now empty husk of a body? Not even close.

I'm not sure what movie all these critics were watching, but it wasn't the same one I saw today. I have heard rumbling for years that M. Night isn't very good at making friends. He has quite a few people that tell stories of not having a good experience with him either on the set or in an interview. That's fine. Sometimes assholes make good artist. It's a fact that has been time tested. But you can't blackball a decent movie just because you don't like the guy that made it. Especially when there have been a lot of movies that have came out recently that are worse than Airbender. This seems to me a clear cut case of "critics be hatin'." Don't take my word on it, in fact, don't take anyone's word on it. Check it out sometime and decide for yourself.

In my opinion The Last Airbender is a decent movie. The plot makes sense, the acting was at least passable most the time, the special effects had some cool moments and it was overall not hard on the eyes. There were some times when the acting fell flat or was slightly hammed up, but it didn't ruin the movie for me. The dialog wasn't artistic, but got the point across. The plot moved forward and there was never any question why characters were doing what they were doing. There was never a point where you asked yourself "Why did the Decepticons need to kidnap Sam's parents and take them to the desert?" ARGH! NO! NO MORE TRANSFORMERS!!!!

Anyways, this movie isn't going to change how we look at the cinema and the only reason people might study it in years to come is to learn about how the bias of critics can completely slag an otherwise mediocre film. I personally enjoyed it and am sad that I might not get to see how this story unfolds on the big screen.

Now, I think it's safe to say I am not the intended audience for this film. This movie is targeted towards a younger audience. My showing wasn't packed, but there were a lot more people there than I thought would be. There were quite a few younger pre-teen kids there. What did they think of the movie? Well, a couple of them were mimicking the tai-chi like moves the characters did when "bending" the elements. They really seemed to enjoy it even if Roger Ebert didn't.

Lastly, the race issue. Get over it. There were people that flipped out when a tongue in cheek campaign was started to get a black comedian casted as Peter Parker. These people were of the strong feeling that Peter Parker couldn't be black simply because he was never black before. There were many, myself included, that called those people racist. Maybe not conciously, but they were racist all the same. My answer remains the same. If you think these characters, that from totally fictional lands can only be played by actors of a certain race, you're a racist. There is quite a deal of racial diversity through out the cast and people from common regions seem to share heritage. That's enough for me.

Frankly, to my eyes, Aang doesn't even look "Asian" as some people have said. His attire does look to be influenced by some Asian cultures, but he actually looks pretty Caucasian to me. Also, he can't be Asian because there is no Asia in this fictional world.

Anyways, I give the movie a 3 out of 5. If there's nothing else to watch, you might enjoy this. If you're under the age of 15, you might really enjoy it.

Review: Clash of the Titans (2010)

Bad movies are good for business. Well, I mean my type of business. I think that I am personally at my best when I don't like something. I have actually gotten emails saying that I should be "angry" more often. No one wants to hear me talk about how the movie was beautifully shot, characters develop and there is a plot that is enjoyable. For that reason, I tend to focus on the negative. That and because I hate everything, so it's easier for me to find "angry" source material. So if you're one of the people that likes me when things are at their worse, you're in luck because I just saw "Clash of the Titans." I can't say that I hate this movie. To hate this movie would take more energy than it deserves or frankly more than might have went into it's production.

In case you didn't know, Clash of the Titans is based on the Greek myths about the demi-god Perseus. Actually, I think it's more safe to say that Clash of the Titans (2010) is based off the movie Clash of the Titans (1981) which was based off the Greek myths of the demi-god Perseus. The best way to describe the story is that the writers once over heard a person tell the story of Perseus at a party, thought it would make a good movie and then decided to write the script a couple days later after they sobered up. They ended up forgetting parts of the story, so he decides to use samples of other popular fantasy to fill in the holes. The end result is story that just doesn't seem to make sense.

So here is a little synopsis to illustrate my point. You have Perseus who's family is angry at the gods for no reason that is explained. Perseus' family is killed by a god. Perseus is now even more angry at the Gods. He goes to a giant city where other people really hate the gods, again no reason given. The characters in the movie always say the gods don't care, but this is never demonstrated. Actually, the exact opposite is shown. Any time we see a god, it seems like they are directly involving themselves in the lives of these mortals. They're either trying to give them gifts or destroy them. The gods seem pretty hands on.

Anyways, the royal family of this city piss off the gods. They are shocked when a god smites them. This god then says "Yo, you all be trippin'. We gots mad juice. You don't even understand. I'll pop a kraken your ass." Perseus is then joined by a dwarf, an elf, a couple humans and a handful of hobbits to save the princess... or the city... or destroy a ring. This fellowship then declare they are going to talk to some witches that might know a way to help. It's never really explained who these witches are or why they might have answers. They just decide to go.

Now, I know from previous reading that the Stygian Witches they're talking about are actually the Graeae from the greek myth, but it is never explained in the movie. It is seriously only one line of exposition. "We should go see the Stygian Witches, they might know how to kill a Kraken." That's it. It really comes across as these characters don't know what they're doing and just pissing in the wind.

Speaking of characters, characters are poorly handled in this movie. There are characters in bulk, but few are given any real growth. I only remember one of Perseus' companions because he has the same name as the Russian from Rocky IV. Even the main character Perseus fails to really grow as a character. He is more or less the same person, only he leveled up and got some super sweet item drops. I think it's safe to say that he doesn't really learn anything, except how to kill a gorgon.

The actors are actually pretty good. The cast includes some actors I really respect.  There isn't any problems with the performances, but they have nothing to do. I honestly feel that the actors were as bored with this movie as I was. I honest to God got bored. The thought crossed my mind that I should just go to the car and listen to NPR. By the end of the movie I wanted Perseus to kill the Kraken not because I cared about the character, but because I wanted the credits to roll.

There was some action in this movie. It might have been good action, but I couldn't see it. The trend in movies recently seems to be that action scenes have to have as much movement from behind the camera as in front of it. When you have lots of movement in the scene, moving the camera only makes it harder to see the excellent work that these stuntmen put into the movie. The movie is capped off with a chase scene that wasn't exciting and went on for way too long, which seems to be a great way to explain the movie as a whole.

So in the end you get a movie that is poorly written, hard to watch and just boring. Nothing in this movie is really done well, but nothing is done so poorly that it makes it unwatchable. That doesn't mean you'll want to watch it though. If you're looking for a story barely based on greek mythology, pick up a copy of God of War. It's more or less the same story only with boobs.

PROS: Liam Neeson looks bad ass as Zeus and the special effects are pretty good.

CONS: Lazy narrative and complete lack of character development, overly kinetic action scenes

Rating: 2 out of 5

Food, Inc. for Thought.

Last night I curled up on the couch with my usual bag of popcorn and proceeded to watch “Food, Inc.”; a documentary about the behind the scenes aspect of the food industry. I use the word “food” here loosely folks, because the things this film showed made me want to put my buttery bag of salty goodness down.

All joking aside, this documentary is a must see, a complete eye opener to what is going on in fast-food mass production corporate America. I have known this kind of activity was taking place, and in a way I think we all have, but until you see it in all its gory detail, you just can’t comprehend the impact that it is having on our bodies, our economy, our country, and our world and its environment.

Now I can honestly say that it has been over a decade since I had a burger from McDonald’s or Burger King. That’s not just because of another great must see food documentary, “Super-Size Me”, but because the fast food giants of corporate America have always left a bad taste in my mouth. They have given me a generally bad feeling about numerous negative trends in America, mostly health related, but also social and environmental.

Food, Inc. not only intelligently confirms what most of us have only vague notions of, but backs it up with undeniable facts and solid video footage of what is really going on in our country right now. It’s not like your cliché Michael Moore documentary, with him parading around asking questions that he proceeds to answer with more questions, all while wearing his blue collar disguise.

Food, Inc. ends with a light at the end of the tunnel, comparing the food industry to big tobacco, declaring that just like one fell, so shall the other. It is also interesting to note Wal-Mart’s willing involvement in the documentary; I mean we’re talking about one of the world’s largest companies here, who have been the subject of a well known documentary themselves, actually being painted in somewhat of a positive light for promoting certified organic, healthy foods on their shelves.

Whether or not you go watch this important documentary is ultimately up to you. But know this, what you put in your mouth effects more than just you and your health. What you consider food has an effect on everything and everyone around you. Food, Inc. will show you this, and is a perfect display of true investigative journalism that I strongly urge everyone to see.

Critical Analysis of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

Like I mentioned in Episode 51, I found one of the funniest and most insightful looks at a Star Wars movie ever. Don't let the goofy voice and murder jokes fool you, this guy knows what he is talking about. I was so impressed with this, that I took a few minutes to make a playlist and bundle them all together so you can enjoy them with minimal effort! So without further ado, here's Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review.



Just to be clear, Kneel Before Pod did not produce these videos. We're just so smitten with them, that we are sharing them through our site.

Episode 49: Kneel Before Zombieland!

On this week's episode we run some familiar ground. It's more zombie talk. Sorry if you don't like zombie talk, but really, who doesn't like zombie talk? We review and give our impressions on the new release "Zombieland" during the first half. During the second half, we address a question raised by our twitter friend @deporitaz about where we will setup base once the impending zomb-pocalypse makes our whole world go down the shitter.

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Not quite a "9" out of ten

Many people have been really excited about the release of the new animated movie "9." Like anything Tim Burton is attached to, there is an instant curiosity and fanbase. So with this buzz, some great actors providing their voices and a movie that looks like it's going to be unique and beautiful, it seemed like "9" was a safe bet. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite live up to the hype.

The voice acting is truly great. Elijah Woods puts forth his top tier performance as the titular character of the production. At no point is there ever a feel of these are actors just wanting an easy paycheck, so they show up to do some voice overs in the jammies. John C. Reilly especially shines as 5 and gives possibly the most memorable performance in the entire movie.

Visually, this movie is very appealing. Though maybe nothing too special by today's ever raising standards, the movie had no harm done by the computer effects. The world is very stylized and had a great World War 1 kind of feel to it. Each of the characters, while all animated rag dolls, have distinct looks and behaviors which is a true credit to the visual designers and the animators. There is never a point where you're getting the characters confused in all the action.

What this movie really comes down to is being a good movie with sadly nothing really special to offer the viewer. The story, while creative in it's characters, falls short of being anything original. It's standard sci-fi/fantasy fare with creature turning on creator and creator trying to atone for his creation. This easily could have been a plot to a Terminator movie if you removed the ragdolls. Also, there is very little change to this world through out the course of the movie. Without getting too much into spoilers, your mind might start to wonder "Would this world have been better off if 9 had just never woke up?" Then by the end of it, the world is only a slightly better place, if it's even better off at all. There are some creepy "bad guys," but clever character design is not a proper substitute for an original and engaging story.

I'm not sure if the people working at the studio thought that too much plot would confuse people or if this version of the movie truly is Shane Acker's vision, but it just seems like there should be a lot more plot meat on this story bone. There was actually a point that really seemed like a natural end to the movie, but it then insists on saying "NO! WAIT! There's more here! Look! More stuff needs to happen to these characters you only moderately care about!"

Overall, I would say it's a 2.5 out of 5. It's not bad, it's not great. The general opinion of the group of people I saw it with was it's just missing something. It was only a few steps away from being special, but it will likely be forgotten in it's current form. It seems to be a clear rental.

Episode 40 - Kneel Before Skynet!

In this shorter episode, Ryan and Carl take the time to tell you what they think about the new Terminator movie!



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Watchmen: Ryan's Review *spoiler free*

I agree with Carl.

8.5 out of 10.

Watchmen : Carl's Review *spoiler free*

So I have seen the movie 3.66 times now and I feel I can give this movie a proper review. Lets just start out with a couple facts;

#1. I have read the comic
#2. I am a huge fan of the comic
#3. No, really, I am a huge fan of the comic.

So, with this information out of the way, lets start with the obvious. Is the movie as good as the comic? Short answer, no. Long answer, it's not fair to compare. Firstly, the movie is a shaved down version of the director's original vision. So, I'm sure there are a lot of things that got cut that would make this movie better for the fans of the comic and maybe even for people new to The Watchmen. Secondly, movies and books are not fair to compare. Ever. As a movie, Watchmen falls short of the comic, yet still is heads above almost every other comic book movie out there.

The movie stays true to the overall feel and tone of the source material. Many scenes and some of the dialog is straight from the comic. I would say that the best way to explain it is that the movie is a Cliff Notes version of the story. You get the important characters, the important themes and the important plot points. There are changes made in the story and this is an unavoidable act. Whenever a story is translated between medias, changes need to be made to tailor that experience to the chosen form. The biggest change being the ending. I personally had no problems with the new ending for a couple reasons. It actually works better for the movie I think. It helps cut out things that really weren't needed for the plot and I think is a little easier to wrap you head around if you're new to the world. Another reason I think it works is that it gives even the fans that know the story something to look forward to. Yeah, we know how it ends, but not knowing exactly how it will get there makes it a little more enjoyable in my opinion.

The casting in the movie was great. Every one of the main characters in the film were perfectly portrayed by their actor. It is clear that all the actors were familiar with the source material or the writers and director just did an amazing job informing the actor of what their character was about. I find myself saying "X" was a real stand out in this movie, only "X = the entire cast". I'm not sure how they pulled it off, but they had a cast where each character was dynamic and stood out. I can't praise the actors enough for this movie.

The one thing I can't help but wonder is if Alan Moore will ever see this movie and what he will think of it if he does. I would assume he will hate the story changes, but maybe he will understand why they were made. I think extreme care was taken to preserve his voice and that it is a clear that the people involved with the production of this movie have a great respect for the source material.

Overall, I give this movie a 9 out of 10. It holds up through multiple viewing for me and each time I notice something new in the background. I wait and long for the directors cut, an ultimate vision of one of the best books of modern time. Till then, I am happy with the Cliff Notes.

The Watchmen

So... We were all set to do an after show for our midnight viewing of the Watchmen. I brought my laptop, we had three headsets and we were set to bullshit... The problem is, we never got to finish the movie. We drove over an hour to Columbus for the sole purpose of seeing this movie. Sure, we got to go to Barnes and Noble, which is a treat for us. We got to hang out at a bar at Easton. We had some chuckles, but the main objective was not complete. To quote our female companion Kathy, "It was like having sex and not coming."

Needless to say we were all very disappointed. It turns out that the IMAX projector that was being used for our showing ate the film. The were able to salvage the film, but, for some reason the sound was never restored properly. I believe that the film and the sound are ran by two different devices connected through the overall IMAX system. So the sound was out of sync. After about an hour of them trying to fix it and us each receiving two free tickets to a future showing of anything ran at an AMC theater (unfortunately, there are no nearby AMCs) we decided to call it a lost cause. We went home empty.

So... We will still do a Watchmen review, but unfortunately, it will have to wait till we can finish the movie which might not be till next week.

I will say though, what I saw of the movie was pure fried gold.

Review X-Files: I want to Believe

Today I saw the new X-Files movie. Before I say anything about the movie, I feel I should preface with my relationship with the franchise. On September 10th, 1993 I watched the very first episode of The X-Files at my grandparent's house. I was only eleven years old at the time and I was completely hooked. Now, this was the days before DVR so I didn't get to see every episode, but I caught a bunch of them over the years. Now with the wonder that is DVD Sets of television shows, I have seen pretty much all the episodes at one point or another. I have always been, and always will be, a fan of this show. Period.

That being said, I was pretty excited to see this movie. I went in wanting to see what has happened to some of the most interesting characters to ever grace the small screen over the 6 years since we saw them last. I wouldn't say I was disappointed, but this movie just wasn't what it needed to be. If this was an episode of the TV Series, it would have likely been a stand out for it's season but as a feature film it was just missing something. I mean, there was nothing epic or grand about this movie. With the exception of the claims of a former priest that he is having psychic visions, this story almost could have been a typical generic serial killer movie. There's no monsters, aliens or angst filled teens that use their power over electricity to kill Jack Black.

It was a well written story though. The acting was everything you would expect from a cast of this nature, though the focus is always on either Scully or Mulder. The film looks brilliant with some stunningly beautiful snowy night time scenes.

Now, to go back to my little story about my history with this show... I am now 26 years old. I think the odds of anyone younger than myself being much more than a casual fan of this show are very remote. I mean, when this show first hit the air-waves Kurt Cobain was still alive, the economy was balanced and the first MP3 Player was still almost 5 years away. All this being said, it is no surprise that I was the youngest person in the theater tonight. Along with the older skewing audience, I thing it's important to factor in that we haven't seen anything from Chris Carter's beautiful universe in over five years. These two factors will be reflected in the movies box office takings, but with one of the smallest budgets of any of the movies on the market right now, we might not have seen the last of the X-files. I mean, I certainly hope not.

So over all, a good movie, but not great. It could have easily been longer and made into a TV mini-series so we were given more time to actually explore how Fox and Dana's personal relationship went after the series ended. So I have to give this one a seven out of ten.


Overall rating: 7/10
Pros: Beloved characters that are still well written, dramatic thriller to rival any recent movies
Cons: Not epic enough for the big screen